Besides my life-long limitations of not being able to sing, dance, or memorize lines, I find that my main challenge is waking up in the morning and making sure that before I have to write or perform that I am somebody. I struggle to find the truth of that identity in a world that is not always ready for me or for my type of work. I feel like most things written about women and about lesbians do not apply to me, and that I have to make up for hundreds of years of a culture that has left out any truth of who I am and have been trying to become.
So, I make all of my performances about my challenges—coming to terms with my female masculinity, my butch desires, my lesbian menopause, my sense of place in the collapsing American dream, and my loss of place and memory through urban redevelopment. My last piece, RUFF
, was an exploration of aging through the experience of having had a stroke. Aging as a performer is my latest challenge, but my aesthetic has always been one that creates an intimacy with the audience that allows for mistakes, lapses of memory, and a sense that they never quite know what’s going to happen.
But, I am now looking to perform a new type of aging, one that places sex and sexuality at the center in order to challenge what it means to be an old woman and one that uses performance to produce a sexy well-being for me and my audience.